ANGRY OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE THAT MAKE YOU MAD

[MAD.MANTIS]

DEAR ASSHOLE IN CAR NEXT TO ME DURING RUSH HOUR,

I'M SICK OF HEARING LOUD IRRITATING RAP MUSIC WITH BOOMING BASE RATTLING MY CAR WINDOWS AND GIVING ME A MIGRAINE WHILE I'M STUCK AT A RED LIGHT. I HOPE YOU GO DEAF YOU FREAKING IDIOT.

[DarthArcturus]

is this realtime? :o

[Advocate]

DEAR LADY NEXT TOO ME WHO THINKS RAP MUSIC SUCKS ...

DEAL!

**BOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMDDDDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOMMMMMM MMM!!!!!!**

[MAD.MANTIS]

hahahah...no.....happened earlier.

[Rich]

Thats what you get for driving to work.

Public transit ftw.

<3 NYC Subway.

(complete lies btw, though you meet some interesting people, and some smokin' hot girls in suits.)

[Advocate]

I have a lot of aggression.

More from the Chronicles of Advocate.


DEAR LADY WHO HAS 30 ITEMS IN THE FUCKING EXPRESS LANE. HEY BITCH CAN YOU FUCKING COUNT? I HAVE A LOAF OF FUCKING BREAD AND YOU DECIDE THAT SINCE THIS LINBE IS FUCKING SHORTER TO PUT YOUR FULLY PACKED CART IN THIS AISLE? FUCK YOU BITCH HO! OH LOOK NOW YOUR PAYING BY FUCKIONG CHECK. FUCK YOU!!!

DEAR OLD MAN IN FAST LANE WHO DECIDES TO GO MINUS 5 FUCKING MILES AN HOUR! HEY DOUCHASSHOLE! GET YOUR OLD WRINKLY ASS OUT OF THE LANE WHERE I'M SUPPOSED TO PASS YOU! AND YOU HAVE THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO GIVE ME THE FUCKING FINGER? YOU FUCKING PRICK. I HATE YOU! ITS A TURN ON RED YOU CAN TURN DICKWAD! TURN FUCKER! TUUUURRRNNNN!!!!

DEAR LADY WHO DECIDES TO PUT MAKEUP ON IN CAR WHILE DRIVING ON FREEWAY AND IS LOOKING ONLY AT HER SELF AS SHE PUTS ON EYELINES AND LIBSTICK! YOUR UGLY!!! NO AMOUNT OF SHIT WILL IMPROVE IT. IF YOU PUT A BOUQUET OF ROSES ON A PILE OF SHIT ... ALL YOU DID WAS PUT ROSES ON SHIT.

DEAR DUDE WHOS TALKING ON CELLPHONE WHILE PASSING SOMEONE. HEY DICKFACE! THANKS FOR FUCKING CUTTING ME OFF! FUCKING ASSHOLE!
[post updated]
DEAR ASSHOLE WHO DECIDES TO STOP ON AN ACCELERATION LANE. HAND IN YOUR KEYS TO THE NEAREST DMV AND TELL THEM THAT YOU FUCKING SUCK AT DRIVING AND THAT YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS PRIVILEDGE! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE MOTHERFUCKER PRICKFACE DOUCHBAG, JITSUCKING ANALRAPING PIECE OF SHITHEAD MOTHER FUCKER! I HATE YOU!

[MAD.MANTIS]

DEAR NEIGHBOR,

YOUR DOG TOOK A CRAP IN FRONT OF MY WINDOW TODAY AND YOU STOOD THERE AND WATCHED HIM AND DIDN'T PICK IT UP. WELL I'M SCOOPING IT UP TONIGHT AND STICKING INSIDE YOUR CAR. IT'S GOING TO BE RIGHT ON THE DRIVER'S SEAT WAITING FOR YOU TO SET YOUR ENORMOUS ASS UPON IN THE MORNING AS YOU ATTEMPT TO RUSH OFF TO WORK. HAVE A GREAT DAY!

[Advocate]

I never clean up my dogs shit.

Oh well.

DEAR POLICE .... FUCK YOU!

[MAD.MANTIS]

DEAR COUSIN,

STOP CALLING ME CONSTANTLY TO HELP YOU WITH COMPUTER PROBLEMS. I'M NOT A 1-800-HELP-ME-WITH-MY-COMPUTER-PROBLEMS CUSTOMER SERVICE HOTLINE. I'M A HUMAN. CALL ME TO SAY HI. DON'T CALL ME AND ACT LIKE YOU CALLED FOR ANOTHER REASON AND THEN SUDDENLY REMEMBER YOU HAVE A COMPUTER PROBLEM. IT'S ANNOYING. GO BUY A COMPUTER REPAIR BOOK. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LEARN TO HELP YOURSELF ONCE IN A WHILE.

[Advocate]

DEAR VEGANS WHO THINK THEY ARE TRYING TO HELP ME. FYI I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP. FUN FACT I LIKE MEAT. FUN FACT 2 I LIKE SAUSAGE AND PORK. FUN FACT 3 ... I LIKE JUNK FOOD. YOU CAN FUCKING TELL ME TILL YOUR BLUE IN THE GOD DAMN FUCKING FACE HOW DELICISHHHH FUCKING TOFU AND SOY MEAT IS ... GUESS WHAT? I-DON'T-GIVE-A-FUCK! I'M GOING TO BE LIKE DENNIS FUCKING LEARY AND EAT BIG MACS AND FUCKING GREASSSEEEEE FRIES TILL MY STOMACH EXPLODES ... THEN WHEN I'M FULL I'LL WALK OVER TO YOUR HOME PARK MY FAT ASS ON YOUR WELCOME MAT AND BULIMIC PUKE ALL OVER YOUR DOOR THAT HAS THE HOME IS WHERE THE <3 IS SHIT ON.

DEAR WHITE DUDES THAT THINK THEIR BLACK. YOUR NOT. DRIVE THROUGH NORTH PHILLY AND WATCH YOUR ASS GET JACKED FOR YOUR PARENTS 2007 LEXUS IE200. FUCKING WHIGGER.

[lordsnarf]

Ooh this will be fun...

Dear Fucking guy with the big cysts all over his face,
I don't like you, please stop trying to chat me up every time you come into my store. Please just order your sandwich and continue shopping like a normal person. I would really appreciate it if you would tell me what you would like when I ask you, instead of saying "you know what I like." If I knew I would fucking ask you if you wanted your usual not what would you like. Also when I ask you what size you would like would you try to appreciate that I have no clue what size "hook it up brother" is.
Also when there's a cop outside my store, it makes people really uncomfortable when you stare relentlessly to make sure he's left before you exit the store, and keep coming up with things you "forgot to get" until they drive away.

Dear "every time I come here I deal with this" girl,
You live in a town with like 15 convenience stores in a 4 mile area, go somewhere else.

Dear people on food stamps,
I understand that some people really need the aid from this service. But could you please stop spending my tax money on $50 worth of ice cream every other day?

[Advocate]

wait you can use food stamps at a conveniance store?

shit I might have to sign up then.

OH I HAVE ONE.

I'LL TAKE IT FROM MY PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN REVIEW.

I mean really can you not fucking explain the entire series to your douchebag g/f who never saw any of the films. SERIOUS! She was like "I's never saw none. All's I be knowin' is like Its about some dirty white people on a ship. TEEE HEEE!!" I was about to bitch slap the ho. Oh and it wasn't like a whisper noooo. WHY THE FUCK WOULD THAT HAPPEN. THAT WOULD MEAN THESE PEOPLE HAVE RESPECT! Take her to the break up or some niggerific movie like "Are we fucking there yet part assmunch twelve". SHUT UP! Oh hey I like the fucking fact you drank a 40 in the theater too, fucktard. Jesus Christ if your going to shout OHHH OR OH SHIT THAT WAS AWESOME. Do that fucking shit at home watching it on your 15 inch Daewoo on your fucking prosonic DVD player you got from food stamps from the supermarket. SHUT YOUR BLACK ASS UP! Oh and I'm not leaving out the white folks. Bringing your rugrat fucknutz. Yeah good call there asshole. Yeah the movie is 3 hours long. I guess you can't figure out 164 minutes is fucking 2 hours and fucking 44 minutes. I don't need to hear "Mommy i have to pee pee." All through the film. Pick up the kid and take him/her to the restroom. Just do it! Or heres a fucking brilliant idea. JUST FUCKING HIT ME. Why not wait till it comes out on DVD! WHOA!!! WTF! I SWEAR TO JESUS CHRIST. IF I HAD A GUN. I WOULD HAVE SHOT THEM ALL! HEY THEY PUT THAT SILENCE THING ON THE SCREEN FOR A REASON! SHUT YOUR FUCKING PIE HOLE!!!! THE FILM IS TOO LONG FOR KIDS. AND TEENAGERS THIS IS NOT THE FUCKING TIME TO CHECK VOICEMAIL OR TEXT MESSAGES, OR WORK ON YOUR HOMEWORK. DO THAT FUCKING SHIT AT HOME! I hate the public and I hope they all die horrible deaths.

ALSO ... WHY IN THE FUCK DO YOU BRING CHILDREN UNDER FUCKING 13 TO A MOVIE THATS NOT FOR CHILDREN UNDER FUCKING 13?? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!

[MAD.MANTIS]

DEAR PEOPLE THAT GET ANNOYED AT MY NUTRITION INFORMATION,

GO PLUNGE YOUR FACE IN SOME CREAMY CRISCO, EAT IT, AND CRAP OUT A GREASY EXPLOSION FOR ALL I CARE.

[DarthArcturus]

good lord we have a lot of angry buildup

[bahn]

This thread is comedy gold.

DEAR STUPID OLD PEOPLE, PLEASE CAR POOL OR LEARN HOW TO DRIVE FASTER. SOME OF US ACTUALLY HAVE PLACES TO GO.

also...

DEAR STUPID RETARDED DRIVERS, LEARN HOW TO USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, GET OFF YOUR DAMN CELL PHONES!

Sincerely,
Bahn

[MAD.MANTIS]

DEAR GUY AT THE POST OFFICE,

I JUST ASKED A SIMPLE QUESTION WHEN I CALLED YOU TODAY. JUST BECAUSE YOU OBVIOUSLY HATE YOUR JOB DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO HAVE AN ATTITUDE WITH ME. SOMEONE SHOULD STUFF YOUR UNHAPPY ASS IN A BOX AND SHIP YOU PRIORITY MAIL TO SOME FAR OFF LAND.

[bahn]

Mantis has a lot of rage. ;)
Pls blv.

[ngt]

DEAR PARENT,

IF YOU CUSS AROUND YOUR CHILDREN, DONT ACT SURPRISED WHEN YOU GET A CALL FROM THEIR TEACHER BECAUSE THEY ARE CUSSING AT SCHOOL!!!!

DEAR PARENT,

IF YOUR CHILD SLEEPS IN THE CLOSE THEY WENT TO SCHOOL IN, DON'T SEND THEM TO SCHOOL IN THE SAME CLOTHES THE FOLLOWING DAY. THAT IS JUST WRONG!

[Advocate]

DEAR NUTRISIONIST WHO THINKS HER WORD ABOUT FOOD IS GOLD TO THE POINT THAT SHE CRAPS DIAMONDS. 9I WILL STUFF MY FACE IN CRISCO AND I WILL ENJOY IT WHEN IT COMES OUT THE OTHER END AS A STEAMING PILE OF FAT GOOEY SHIT DINGLE BERRIES.

DEAR WELFARE MOMMA WHO FUCKING DECIDES TO BRING HER 15 RUG RAT BRAT SCREAMING CRYING KICKING ON MY FUCKING CHAIR VIRUS TO A THEATER CHILDREN TO SEE SOME MOVIE. GET THEM OUT OF HERE! WAIT FOR THE FUCKING DVD BITCH!

DEAR RUSSIAN WHO THINKS HE CAN BARTER WITH FUCKING COMCAST ABOUT THEIR BILL. DUDE YOUR FUCKING BILL IS HIGH CAUSE YOU HAD TO FIUCKING WATCH BOOBWATCH 15 ... 10 TIMES IN ONE DAY. OKAY? YOU ALSO RENTED ON YOUR FUCKING PPV ... ANAL EXPLOSION 10. YOU FUCKTARD DON'T YOU FUCKING REMEMBER? ALSO BLACK WELFARE MOMMA ... YOUR "CHRISTIAN SON" RENTED BLACK DICKS/WHITE CHICKS 10 AND LATINO HEAT 4. SO CHECK YO SELF BITCH! AND INDIAN ... THIS IS NOT FUCKING BANGLADESH OKAY? WE HAVE MORE THAN ONE CHANNEL AND YOUR PAYING FOR IT. DEAL WITH THE FUCKING FACT THAT YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING PLACE WHERE SHIT IS NOT HANDED TO YOU LIKE THE FUCKING SALVATION FUCKING ARMY. YOU WANT HAND OUTS MOVE FUCKING BACK TO YOUR DAMN DERKA DERKA DERKA COUNTRY!

[DarthArcturus]

nevermind :o

[Bruhaha69]

Dear Asshole who purposely keys or even accidentally dents/scratches my car the one time I fucking park up close to the mall,

Please remain at my car until I come out so I can witness you keying my car. Be you a man, woman or child, I will smash your head against the ground until your skull splits them stomp on said skull until the brains leak out. If you are with child (woman), I will brutally murder your child/children by squeezing their heads until their eyes pop out. If still in the womb, I will gut you like an animal, grab the unborn child by the legs and then bleed them like a pig in a pork processing factory. I will not drink the blood, however, as the thought makes me nauseous.

Just so you know, this happened to me last night but I didn't get to hurt anyone. The assholes were already gone.

By the way, many of these are great. I especially enjoy all of the angry car ones and lordsnarfs cyst man/annoying complaint girl. Haha....good thread

[Bacon McShig]

DEAR EVERYONE THAT GIVES A CRAP ABOUT THE LATEST NEWS ON PARIS HILTON OR OTHER B-LIST CELEBRITIES WHO HAVE DONE NOTHING OF MERIT IN THEIR ENTIRE LIVES,

PLS DIE IMMEDIATELY.

[Advocate]

DEAR LIFE ... YOU SUCK.

DEAR PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES,

I never really liked baseball as a child. My dad always told me how in the end they will let you down. He told me the story of the 1965 Phillies, where they have a 12 game lead and the only way for them not to be in the playoffs; is if they lost all 13 games. They lost all 13. So, here we are in 2007. The Phillies climbed back up to 2 and a half back. AND they get to play against the team thats on top ... The New York Mets in a four game series.

NOT ONLY DO THEY FUCKING LOSE 3 FUCKING GAMES! THEY FUCKING LOSE THE NEXT SERIES TOO AGAINST THE ASTROS! THE FUCKING ASTROS!!! THE SAME FUCKING ASTROS THAT ARE IN LAST PLACE!!! WHAT.THE.FUCK!!!!! HEY CHARLIE YOU FAT FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DO A DOUBLE SWITCH? MY FUCKING 4 YEAR OLD GOD DAMN NEICE KNOWS WHAT A FUCKING DOUBLE SWITCH IS! EVERY FUCKING TIME YOU GET YOUR LARDFILLED ASS OUT OF THE GOD DAMN FUCKING DUGOUT YOU LUMBER ACROSS LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU FUCKING GOT THERE! I HATE YOU! AND THEN YOUR FUCKING PRESS CONFERENCES! CANM I PLEASE GET A FUCKING TRANSLATOR!!! I NEED A FUCKING MORON TO ENGLISH DICTIONARY!!!

A FUCKING TASTE OF WHAT WE AS PHILLY FANS HAVE TO FUCKING PUT UP WITH!

“You know what they call that? Baseball. I've been in baseball for 40-some years and I haven't been able to figure this game out. That's what makes you stay up late at night. That's what makes you care. That's what makes you come back the next day and try harder. It's hard to explain this game. It's amazing.”

WHOOO FUCKING HOOO!!!! OUR MANAGER IS A FUCKING IDIOT! KILL ME!

[lordsnarf]

Dear people on food stamps,
I understand that some people really need the aid from this service. But could you please stop spending my tax money on $50 worth of ice cream every other day?

The same fucking girl who spurred this comment came in again today. She spent $130 and barely left with anything I would call food. She had three hoagies, like 6 bottles of Hawaiin punch, a shit load of candy, a bunch of cookies...
AND 9 FUCKING CANS OF CHEEZE WIZ!!!
what in the world could you need that much fake cheese in can? It was the
spray cans if anyone is wondering.

Then she was complaining about the size of her sandwiches telling the person on the other end of her cell phone call that she was never coming here again(which see was on the enitire time she was in the store at the very least, she didn't even put the phone down to order her food). Good I hope so...
On top of that she's like 300 pounds wearing shorts so small that her panties were sticking out the top and bottom of the pants, a shirt so small and tight it would barely constitute a bra, and she wreaked like she hadn't bathed in weeks.

[MAD.MANTIS]

DEAR CLIENT,

I KNOW YOU ARE ON VACATION AND HAVING A GREAT TIME IN THE SUN RUBBING SUNSCREEN ON YOUR BIG WHITE HAIRY BELLY, BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IF YOUR UNTHINKING, SELF-ABSORBED, POMPOUS SELF COULD HAVE THOUGHT TO SIGN MY FREAKING CHECKS FROM MAY AND JUNE BEFORE YOU LEFT INSTEAD OF JUST LETTING IT SIT THERE ON YOUR DESK UNTOUCHED. I HAVE FUCKING BILLS TOO YOU MARGARITA SIPPING GREAT WHITE BLOB ON THE BEACH!!!

[Advocate]

Oh damn.

[DarthArcturus]

DEAD FUCKING FRIENDS

I'M TIRED OF DOING SHIT THAT YOU GUYS WANT AND YOU TREATING MY GF LIKE SHIT. IF YOU HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH STUFF COME UP AND BE A MAN AND TALK TO ME ABOUT IT. FUCKING GROW UP YOU ONLY STARTED ACTING LIKE THIS DURING THE SUMMER AND I'M FUCKING TIRED OF IT. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH STRESS AND ANXIETY THIS HAS CAUSED ME THE LAST FEW WEEKS.

[jp]

Friends are overrated.

So are girlfriends.



People in general even.

[DarthArcturus]

yes people suck and I'm fucking tired of it

[Advocate]

I hate people more than I hate life.

[jp]

Dear People,


Die.


:)

[DarthArcturus]

Dear People,


Die.


:)

:goodpost:

[Advocate]

All people are anymore are Fakes and frauds. I think this is my cynical side coming out.


But I do have some worthy friends, yet I must say ... they are few and far between.

[DarthArcturus]

I need help finding new friends but I dunno where to look

[jp]

I need help finding new friends but I dunno where to look

I'll be your friend Darth. :o

[Advocate]

You have friends here Darth.


btw ... your g/f is ugly. and you're a punkass. ;) :p

[jp]

You have friends here Darth.


btw ... your g/f is ugly. and you're a punkass. ;) :p


Darth 'bout to go green angry tall guy on yo' ass muhfucka!!!!

[Advocate]

**Ding**



























**ding**

kidding. <3 darth.

[DarthArcturus]

:fyou:




but alas I know I have great friends online...its funny I realized last night I have more in common with people here and more fun a lot online with M2D and stuff...we should all just fucking create are own town.

[Advocate]

we should all just fucking create are own town.

http://www.got-next.com/board/attachment.php?attachmentid=1116&stc=1&d=1183939570

[jp]

we should all just fucking create are own town.

That would be the shit.

[jazzchamp]

Dear <insert CableCompany>

When I call to cancel my service and am transferred to the 'retention' queue, please accept no the first time. If I decide the offer is good enough, then I'll stay on.

Dear <insert CableCompany>

WHEN I ACCEPT YOUR STUPID OFFER TO STAY ON, AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO COME THROUGH ON ALL PROMISES OFFERED SO THAT I DON'T HAVE TO SPEND 2 HOURS OF MY DAY TRYING TO GET THROUGH TO YOU ON THE PHONE TO TALK TO SOMEONE ONLY TO HAVE TO BE TRANSFERRED AND WAIT ANOTHER 30 MINUTES TO GET TO TALK TO THE PERSON THAT CAN FIX THE BILL! ONLY BILL ME FOR THE SERVICES THAT I AGREED TO AND ENOUGH WITH ALL THESE BOGUS FEES!!!

[Advocate]

YOu can say the cable copmpany. I used to work for Comcast. Its no big deal.

[Newport420]

Dear Pricks who think they can cut in line while boarding an airplane,

You need to get your ass off the phone so you can hear the fucking boarding announcements. Just because your 13 year old teenager is fucking his 11 year old gf doesn't mean you get to cut in line to board. See that nice uniform column of people standing with bags in hand? Thats the fucking line bitch. Take your fat, over permed, orange tanned, fake gucci purse sporting ass to the back like the regular fucking ass-tard that you are and get in LINE! The only thing keeping me from planting my foot in that wide load you call an ass is the fear I may never see my shoe again.

BITE ME YOU BITCH!

[DarthArcturus]

man people in airports are fucking horrible.

[jazzchamp]

YOu can say the cable copmpany. I used to work for Comcast. Its no big deal.

:lol: :alexkidd:

[squall_vb]

Dear Britney Spears,

Your vagina is hideous. Please stop showing it off. Seriously, it looks like a slab of raw meat. If you put a bun on each side it could pass as an Arby's ad. I mean it.

Sincerely yours,
Andrew

[Outlawd19]

dear all you posters,

keep posting

[lordsnarf]

Dear vidoe game retail clerks,
I don't want to spend $3 on a game guarantee/scratch protection/whatever the hell you want to call it. I want to buy the game, and I promise I can handle taking care of it all by myself. I hate EB for inventing it (I've decided) and I hate you sheeps of competitors for following suit. I understand that it's pure profit for you and your company loves you pushing them. If I'm in your store every week could you please learn not to bug me with these things? I bought your discount card, I make sure to buy mulitple items to help you IPT/UPT ratio. I even preorder games that I know damn well you'll have plenty of copies to around. Stop asking me or I'll start punching you in the face.

[Advocate]

DEAR COMPANIES WHO PUBLISH HELP WANTED THEN WHEN YOU FUCKING APPLY ... YOU DON'T GET SHIT! THANKS FUCKTARDS! I REALLY APPRECIATE WASTING MY TIME AND MONEY ON SOMETHING THAT I WILL NEVER HEAR BACK FROM! FUCK YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT FAGGOT!


DEAR PEOPLE OF THE WORLD. FUCK YOU! I HOPE THIS PLACE EXPLODES IN A BALL OF FUCKING FIRE AND YOU'RE AT THE FUCKING EPICENTER! I HATE YOU ALL. THANKS.

DEAR GOD.
WHY AM I ALIVE?

Amen.

[MAD.MANTIS]

DEAR BANK,

I'VE BEEN A GOOD CUSTOMER FOR TWO YEARS, SO STOP PUTTING HOLDS ON MY FREAKING DEPOSITS. WHEN I GET PAID, I NEED MY FLIPPING MONEY NOW, NOT IN TWO DAYS. DON'T GIVE ME THE BULLSHIT LINE THAT IT'S BANK POLICY. AND DON'T SMILE AND TELL ME TO HAVE A NICE DAY AFTER YOU JUST TOLD ME MY DEPOSIT IS GOING TO BE HELD FOR 48 HOURS.

[Advocate]

if its not a direct deposit they have to put a hold to make sure the check will clear and to make sure the company exists. My one friend told me of a time where his one friend went to cash a check and the bank rejected the checks, because the company that she was employed by was fake. She lost over 5k and this was when she was a female model.

[Advocate]

TO THE GOVERNOR OF NJ,

WHY IN THE FUCK DO YOU NEED TO RAISE OUR FUCKING TAXES FOR YOUR SHITTY MISTAKES. WHY? WHY DO WE HAVE TO NOW PAY MORE IN TOLLS FOR YOUR SHITTY PORK FUCKING BARREL PROGRAMS. WHY? WHY IN THE BLUE SHADES OF FUCKING HELL DO WE HAVE TO PAY FOR IT? WHY? WHY CAN'T YOU TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR FUCKING PAY? OH HEY LOOK WE CAN VOTE FOR THIS ... YET IF WE DECLINE YOU WILL RAISE OUR TAXES. THANKS SHITHEAD MONKEY NUTZ. THANKS FOR BEING A JACKASS. THANKS FOR BEING THE JITBAG. I APPRECIATE ALREADY SPENDING ENOUGH IN TAXES FOR YOUR STUPID ASS PROGRAMS THAT HAVE NO HOPE IN FINANCIALLY HELPING THE STATE. THANKS. FUCKING ASSHOLE.

[Raz]

WHY CAN'T YOU TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR FUCKING PAY?

I believe the governor of NJ does not receive any pay.

[Advocate]

I believe the governor of NJ does not receive any pay.

http://www.state.nj.us/faqs/governor.html


What is the Governor's salary?
$157,000, state law allows for a maximum of $175,000

[Raz]

I am aware of the maximum amount the NJ governor may be paid per year. However, it is not a required amount.

“This is my shot at it, and I hope that I help to contribute to something that’s bigger than me,” said Mr. Rose, who, like Mr. Corzine, is accepting a token salary of $1 a year. “It’s not like I’m going to go out into the private sector, and make money off of this. I’m going to disappear.”

Credit: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/04/nyregion/04goldman.html?pagewanted=2&ei=5070&en=33d36b0e619179ec&ex=1187323200

Registration is required to view the article, but both the governor and several of his aids do not receive pay.

[Advocate]

yeah working for Goldman Sachs.

For their part, the former Goldman officials say they have no intention of following the common practice of parlaying their positions into high-paying lobbying or government jobs after they leave the State House.

[Raz]

yeah working for Goldman Sachs.

No, not working for Goldman Sachs. Here is some more specific information:

Over in New Jersey, Governor Jon Corzine accepts an annual salary of $1. If Corzine took home the entire salary of the governor for this state, he would earn $175,000. Don't worry about Corzine though, before entering the governor's mansion, he was the chief executive officer of Goldman Sachs where he earned a reported compensation (via real estate, stocks, bonds) of close to $6 million in 2006.

Credit: http://blogs.payscale.com/ask_dr_salary/2007/06/annual-salary-f.html

[Advocate]

hmm ... i wonder why i said what I said ...


TRENTON - Multimillionaire New Jersey Gov. Corzine earned about $6.1 million during his first year as governor, nearly $50 million less than what he earned in 2005, according to income tax estimates released yesterday by his office. Corzine filed for an extension to file his actual income tax returns, a customary move for the former Goldman Sachs chairman whose finances are complicated by numerous investments.
Corzine had until yesterday either to file his return or seek an extension under an extended filing period authorized by the Internal Revenue Service for people living in areas hit by the recent nor'easter.
The estimates released by his office show Corzine earned about $50 million less in 2006 than he did in 2005, when he was a U.S. senator. Corzine became governor in January 2006.
The figures show he paid $1.13 million in federal income taxes and $550,000 in state income taxes last year, or $1.68 million total.
Corzine paid about $13 million in total income taxes in 2005, when he earned $55.9 million largely by selling 400,000 shares in Goldman Sachs, the global finance firm he led from 1994 to 1999. Corzine earned $11.8 million in 2004.
Corzine can earn $175,000 a year as governor, but accepts only $1.
Corzine spokesman Anthony Coley said Corzine made his money last year from an array of sources, including stocks, bonds and real estate.
While financial disclosure reports are required by law for elected officials, Corzine isn't required to release income tax returns. Corzine's office released estimates yesterday in response to a request from the Associated Press.





even though he might not get a salary .... he has more than enough money to get NJ out of the shit its in right now. kthxbye.

[Raz]

even though he might not get a salary .... he has more than enough money to get NJ out of the shit its in right now.

That he definitely does. The fact does stand that he does not receive any payment, however, as also pointed out in the article you most recently quoted. That was what I wished to point out (for the same reasons you wished to specify why some checks are held by banks, namely for verification purposes). He does not receive any pay, but has plenty of income thanks to his various investments.

[Advocate]

And I would like to say ... did he not get paid for those stocks? Can he not hand his income over? Can he not require the senators and congressmen to hand over their pay? OH FUCK NO.

ALSO .. I COULD GIVE TWO RAT SHITS ABOUT PAY/SALARY/ETC. THIS IS AN ANGRY LETTER, THE FIRST PAGE HAD NO RESPONSES CAUSE THE WHOLE BASIS WAS TO BITCH. I REALLY DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCKING SHIT MONKEY BALL SWEAT ABOUT HIS FUCKING PAY. HE HAS MORE MONEY THAN ME ... HE CAN TAKE IT OUT OF HIS SHIT. BUT NOO .. HE DECIDES TO FUCKING TAX AND PUNISH THE PEOPLE OF HIS SHITHOLE STATE.

THANKS.

[ngt]

Dear Comcast,

If you change my cable box and somehow that is going to effect my internet connection for 24 hours, please let me know before you leave. Otherwise, I will call in and make another appointment for someone to come and fix it, only to have the person show up to a working internet connection and me being angry for a day instead of just knowing I would have to hack into someone else's wireless connection.

Thanks

[Rich]

Wait, Advocate wants Corzine to fix NJ with money out of his own pocket?

[Advocate]

all I will say is NGT I feel ya. check your PM as to why.

[Biff_Pocoroba]

Dear Douchebag at the Indians game sitting in the front row next to me with a fucking Chef hat on, screaming at Gary Sheffield every 2 minutes about your man love for him. PLEASE FUCKING MAN UP AND CATCH FOUL BALLS INSTEAD OF RUNNING LIKE A TWO YEAR OLD GIRL SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS, YOU SPILLED YOUR FUCKING BEER ON MY GF AND DIDN'T SAY YOUR SORRY!!! HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE TWO BEERS AND THE COKE I POURED ON YOUR HAT DURING THE REST OF THE GAME, FAGGOT.

[ngt]

Dear PERSON BUYING MY GAME,

DON'T MAKE DEALS IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO DO YOUR PART! ALSO, DON'T HAVE OTHER DEALS GOING ON AT THE SAME TIME THAT TAKE THE MONEY AWAY FROM THE FIRST DEAL YOU GOT INTO. ALSO, DON'T MAKE DEALS ON A WEBSITE IF YOU AREN'T PLANNING ON GOING BACK THERE FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS. LAST, DON'T WASTE MY TIME!

-thanks

[Specineff]

DEAR FUCKING CRAPWADS WHO CALL INTO THE SPANISH LINE AND COMPLAIN ABOUT ME ANSWERING IN SPANISH: I AM FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK FUCKY FUCK RE-FUCKING-QUIRED TO ANSWER IN FUCKING SPANISH. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE SPEAKING OTHER, AND MORE BEAUTIFUL LANGUAGE THAN YOUR REDNECK VERSION OF ENGLISH, TAKE IT TO YOUR AUTHORITIES OR LEARN SOMETHING ELSE BESIDES YOUR SHITTY REDNECK ENGLISH. I AM FUCKING AWARE THAT THESE ARE THE USA, BUT IF YOU ARE FUCKING CALLING THE SPANISH LINE BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO WAIT UNTIL AN ENGLISH REP ANSWERS, THEN DON'T FUCKING BITCH ME BECAUSE I SAY "BUENOS DIAS" WHEN THE CALL COMES IN, YOU UNDERSTAND, 'PATRIOTIC" GUN-TOTING, SISTER-MARRYING, RACIST, CONDESCENDING, MCDONALD'S-EATING, FORD-DRIVING, HYPOCRITICAL GOING-TO-CHURCH-ONLY-ON-SUNDAY BUT-FORGET-ABOUT-THE-GOOD-BOOK-THE-REST-OF-THE WEEK, TRAILER-DWELLING, IGNORANT, SWAMP-SMELLING PIECE OF REDNECK CRAP?

[Mister_Saturn]

Dear Ad Reps who get paid too much for what little they do,

Please do not have an ad dummied into the templates, and yet turn the actual ad/ticket in at 4p or so on the day of the print, and expect it to get done not only on time but in good sense. THERE IS A REASON WHY THERE IS A FUCKING DEADLINE YOU FUCKINGLY RIDICULOUS SON OF A BITCH. IT'S JOB IS TO HELP YOU GET YOUR AD DONE AND OVER WITH, SO YOU CAN HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO GO DRINKING, OR GET YOUR NAILS DONE, OR GO SHOPPING, OR GO GOLFING. DON'T PULL THIS SHIT FIRST, AND THEN EXPECT TO GET IT DONE IN SECONDS.

Also, please do not expect people to drop whatever ad/project they are currently working on, just because you took your ad and specifically dropped it on our desk, expecting it do get done right there. IF WE ARE CURRENTLY WORKING ON A FUCKING DOUBLE TRUCK REBUILD, AND DROP THIS SHIT IN OUR LAP, DON'T GO FUCKING APESHIT WHEN WE DON'T WORK ON IT RIGHT THEN AND THERE. THERE IS AN AD, RIGHT THERE MOTHERFUCKER, THAT WE ARE CURRENTLY WORKING ON, AND NEED TO GET THE DAMN FUCKING THING OUT ON PROOF. YOU'RE NOT FUCKING NUMBER ONE, SO DON'T ACT LIKE IT, YOU FUCKING RETARDED BULL SPUNK.

And to dealerships out there who redo their ad like 7 or more times. PLEASE REALIZE THAT WE CANNOT STOP TIME TO WORK ON YOUR FUCKING 7TH REBUILD, JUST BECAUSE YOU HAD DECIDED RIGHT THEN AND THERE TO ACT LIKE A FUCKING ASSHOLE AND DECIDE THAT WHAT YOU HAD CHOSE EARLIER IS WRONG FOR THE 6TH TIME. MAKE YOUR FUCKING DECISION AT THE FIRST, SO THAT WE CAN GET YOUR BULLSPUNKING AD DONE AND GET IT PROOFED AND OK'D, SO THAT WE HAVE THE TIME NECESSARY TO WORK ON OTHER SHIT, WITHOUT STAYING UNTIL NEARLY MIDNIGHT WORKING YOUR FUCKINGLY RIDICULOUSLY SHITTY AD FOR THE UMPTEEMTH TIME!

... That is all that I have right now. *bows*

[jp]

I hereby nominate this thread for the Hall of Epic.


Agree?

[Specineff]

Dear brother:

I understand you decided to be a moron and fuck your GF without a condom so you got her pregnant and had to marry her, therefore ruining your chances of getting a career and are stuck feeding your four kids because you two are too cheap to think of contraceptives, and therefore have no money left at the end of the pay period. Would it hurt you NOT to go to mom's house under the pretense you are waiting for someone to call you, only to grab her laptop without asking, and later pretend your cellphone is not receiving any calls when she is trying to reach you because she left work in her laptop she needs by 8 Am tomorrow?

Also, just because I happen to have enough spare parts to build a computer, doesn't mean that I am going to build it for you, for free. You should ask your friends who you love and care more for than your own family, to do it. See if they walk the walk the way they talk the talk.

P.S. : I hate your kids with the exception of the oldest. It's not his fault you're such a loudmouthed, coward, sex-driven incompetent father.

P.P.S: Mom, this is all your fault, you self-righteous, hypocritical, heartless, venom-spitting bible-thumping monster.

[Bruhaha69]

sure, epic it up

[Hunter]

Sounds good to me, might want to wait and see if speci needs to vent anymore first though. :p

[Newport420]

I loved the PS's from that post... especially the last one! :)

I second the nomination for Hall of Epic