300 Sucks, do not rent, do not buy

[Biff_Pocoroba]

How can anybody like this fucking movie? It's horrible. My friend let me borrow this over the weekend and I'm going to punch him in the face when I return it.

Here are my 3 major issues


1) WTF is with the slow down, speed up, slow down, speed up bullshit?

2) "HAY GUYS, we're going to go fight 1 million men, just the 300 of us!!"
"Awesome, all I need are my tighty whiteys and my shield! Oh yeah and my flakseed to buff up before we fight" Manwank at it's best. I haven't seen such a homoerotic movie since top gun.

3) I'm down with the comic book adaptation and all, but WTF is up with the fucking hunchback? He didn't appear in the real life story, why the fuck is here here?


Two things I liked;

1) Xerxes, although wanked as fuck, was pretty awesome.

2) The earthquake, arrows, and Xerxes' coming in on a pyramid on the backs of 1000's of people was a fucking awesome way to give him an entrance.

[Newport420]

You fail at movie reviews and your taste is pathetic! :p

It was a little "ghey" I guess if your homophobic but other than that I thought it was epic personally.

The visual style/art direction was great. The dialogue was decent enough. The acting while a bit over the top was a great fit given the comic book roots. It never tried to be accurate or historic so all the liberties taken in the movie were fine by me. I also didn't need to stare at the spartans six pack abs and loin clothes so the "manwank" factor as you put it wasn't a problem for me.

How can you not like the idea of standing for what you believe in, having the courage to fight against insurmountable odds, lots of hacking, slashing, blood and limbs flying? Thats what I like in a good movie personally and 300 delivered it in spades and in style IMHO.

[Biff_Pocoroba]

You fail at movie reviews and your taste is pathetic! :p

It was a little "ghey" I guess if your homophobic but other than that I thought it was epic personally.

The visual style/art direction was great. The dialogue was decent enough. The acting while a bit over the top was a great fit given the comic book roots. It never tried to be accurate or historic so all the liberties taken in the movie were fine by me. I also didn't need to stare at the spartans six pack abs and loin clothes so the "manwank" factor as you put it wasn't a problem for me.

How can you not like the idea of standing for what you believe in, having the courage to fight against insurmountable odds, lots of hacking, slashing, blood and limbs flying? Thats what I like in a good movie personally and 300 delivered it in spades and in style IMHO.


Hey, if your idea of a good movie is 300 peeps vs "monsters" from Asia, while comporting themselves in BVD's, go for it. The fact is the movie sucked. The asshole director said it was 90% realistic, bullshit. I studied Sparta, and they never would have broken the phalanx to go out showboating with their wanked swords (PROTIP, real Spartan swords are slightly bigger than a machete)


If you want style see gladiator.

If you want realism, see Braveheart.


If you want bullshit, see 300. Hell Alexander was less man wanking than this movie.


IMO. <--------I'm allowed to have one, it's the USA and all.....:D

[Newport420]

Oh your allowed to have an opinion... just like I am. Mine just happens to be the opposite of yours is all. :p

I can see 300 not being your favorite film but your comment that its not even worth a rent is overly harsh IMO.

Also your reasons for disliking the movie seem pretty minor/picky and overly focused on this fictional quality of "manwank" which I just don't understand.

[Biff_Pocoroba]

PS, why is it if I try to see if you're following up on my thread that it says

Last Action
View Thread @3:00

But Mine for instance, would say

Viewing "Official" @2:59?


These little things bother me...

[Newport420]

Uhhhh not sure really. I added that last bit starting with "Also" as I felt that responding to your actual gripes with the movie was more productive discussion wise.

-------------

I really enjoy those other films you mentioned as well. However none of them has the panache and style that 300 does IMO.

The speed up, slow down deals are done for "impact value" and are style driven. It wasn't overly used and served its purpose of emphasizing the action on screen and making it more visceral IMO.

Manwank.... where do I start with this. You know I'm sorry but I just can't. Its your opinion and perception, and I don't share an ounce of it. If its too homoerotic for you then hey whatever. Its not like they had an embroidered cock and balls on the shield and groin pieces though so I don't feel like it was overdone personally.

I could careless where or when the hunchback is present in some book. He was a decent character and not a Jar Jar Binx so I am cool with him.

[Hunter]

1. The manwanking is historical. In fact the real Spartan rubbed oil over each other whilst nude. Be happy we were spared that.

2. Yes, the monster dude was not there.

3. No one ever said this was realistic. This was not meant to be a documentary, it's comic book historical fiction. I figured the monsters and magic were a dead giveaway. If you expected realism, go watch the History Channels documentary on the 300 Spartans, it's available on Live now.

4. It is not the greatest movie of all time. Even as far as action movies go, I actually preffered Transformers.

[DarthArcturus]

heh, I didn't like it as much as others did. The story was very unbalanced. It was the main focus in the beginning then didn't show up towards the end. I dunno if thats how the graphic novel was or not but it wasn't very effective story telling on screen. Action and cinematography was great though.

[Wildcat]

I enjoyed the hell out of this movie, as did my fiance. It was a fun film to watch. I liked the effects, the fight scenes, and the motto of fighting for what you believe in. But I don't expect everyone to enjoy it, either. *shrugs*

[Biff_Pocoroba]

1. The manwanking is historical. In fact the real Spartan rubbed oil over each other whilst nude. Be happy we were spared that.

False, they rubbed whale oil on each other in order to avoid being grabbed and destroying the Phalanx.

The fucking director said it was 90% accurate, not me.

Spartans wore a primitive version of chainmail and heavy furs to avoid cuts and piercings by small arms, they didn't go out to fight in loincloths.

etc

etc

[Hunter]

1. False, they rubbed whale oil on each other in order to avoid being grabbed and destroying the Phalanx.

2. The fucking director said it was 90% accurate, not me.

3. Spartans wore a primitive version of chainmail and heavy furs to avoid cuts and piercings by small arms, they didn't go out to fight in loincloths.

etc

etc

1. How does that differ from what I said? Nude oil rubbing. Purpose and type make no mind.

2. Really? I hadn't heard that. If so, he's a dumbass. I never watch extras.

3. I didn't say otherwise. As I said, if you want a realistic account of the story, check out the History Channel one. It's pretty good. The naval battles were awesome.

[shinjirod]

its 90 accurate of the book. the book is an interpretation of frank miller, which came to his mind after watching the movie "the 300 spartans" when he was a kid.

[Luminous]

First off, I really liked the movie.
Second it was an adaptation of the graphic novel, not just the real historical battle. There are scenes in the movie that mirror near 100% what you see in the graphic novel. I just recently was in Borders thumbing through the book and I watched 300 again yesterday.

Go and rent The 300 Spartans the History Channel's Last Stand of the 300 if you want real history.



I was too busy watching them slaughter the Persians to focus on how they were dressed.

A little homophobic, perhaps? :p

[Advocate]

First I loved the movie.

Second it was the graphic novel; read comic book.

Third I was too busy watching head and legs being chopped off to notice the homophobic references you speak of.

Fourth Leonides banged the shit out of his queen. And the queen pulled tricks to get more soldiers.

Fifth ...

http://www.jonlee.ca/images/Sparta.gif

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a389/pzykotikjp/redsauce.gif

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a389/pzykotikjp/300sbarro.jpg

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a389/pzykotikjp/sparta17.gif

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a389/pzykotikjp/sparta15.gif

[Newport420]

That splenda one made me laugh out loud at work at 7:45 AM!!!!!! :)

[Raz]

I haven't seen "300", but a friend of mine lobbed similar criticisms in my presence and that about cemented my non-desire. It's also 90% accurate because Frank Miller's opinions of the world at large have changed over the years (a good way to see this is to ignore his masterful works like "Sin City" and compare the original DKR to the blasphemous DKR2), and he wanted to modify things a bit.

A blockbuster movie, but not a remarkable one by any means.

[Biff_Pocoroba]

To Advocate: Get bent nerd. :)

[SNKJorge]

Yeah, opinions are like assholes, we all have one.





IMO. <--------I'm allowed to have one, it's the USA and all.....:D

[Biff_Pocoroba]

Yeah, opinions are like assholes, we all have one.

And yours smells of runny shit, but that's for contributing the flames, trolliarty.

[Advocate]

thats a new one Biff.

[Biff_Pocoroba]

I have been working on some new material.


PS: Have you had Chipotle now that you are getting paid sir? I recommend that you do.

[Advocate]

I don't have that around by me.

[Biff_Pocoroba]

Fail!

Move.

[Advocate]

I wish.

[Biff_Pocoroba]

Save money, you can be my roomie in NY until you find something better.

[ssbomberman]

My 2 cents: didn't like it very much. Thought it was derivative and that the action was actually pretty boring. Almost everything was computer enhanced and it took away the real grit of the film. I'd rather see it Shaw-style, with blood packs and crazy spurting, real fake blood...

Call me a noob or whatever you want, but I've seen a lot of actions films, and this concept has been done better in Asia and with much more purpose. I'm usually a huge fan of mindless action, hence my love for movies such as Versus, but I just didn't enjoy this one, though there were some cool moments.

it was like the director took every speed-up/slow-down trick in the book and went overboard with them... I was really surprised to hear that this thing was hugely pre-ordered...

[Hunter]

Your title is ironic.

[Biff_Pocoroba]

You're title is ironic.


Your post is as assinine as you're spelling skills.


<3


Biff

[Hunter]

Bleh, you beat me to the edit, and that post was not directed at you.

Also, that's grammar, not spelling. I spelled the word correctly, but used the wrong word. ;)

[Newport420]

For me... I just enjoy watching it. It doesn't make me think and it doesn't make me cry. It makes my jaw hit the ground watching the on screen action that could nothave been done w/o special effects IMO.

Its a movie I can watch over and over again for what it does on screen. Its pretty, has lots of swords and peoples limbs go flying. Thats about all I need to be happy watching the TV for a couple hours. Oh and some nekid whomens don't hurt either! ;)

[jp]

Your post is as assinine as you're spelling skills.


<3


Biff

:spock: :p

[Advocate]

JP - Good catch ... lol.

[Frogacuda]

jpwned, imo

[Biff_Pocoroba]

D'oh


fail......